Yes, absolutely, it does all the time. But it will only really work if you do the work. As in, you work on yourself during this time and gain all the benefits of the no contact period. So take the time to work on yourself, to get back to yourself, to just be by yourself, and if he reaches out when the no contact period is up minimum of four weeks , then you may have a shot the second time around.
But in order to get him back, you have to first get over him. No matter what the outcome, it is always in your favor and that is why the no contact rule always works. I hope this article helped you understand the no contact rule and why it always works. But there is more to the story.
You can get him back, but you need to know a few things. Use This to Get Him Back I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want.
I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate.
If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram. This is immature reaction to , you did not get your way. You decided not to talk and you found it inconvient to work it out because you are selfish and narsisistic. Had you been a person of character, you would have communicated in a loving way and worked it out…. I was dating a guy for months exclusively , but due to no progress and him saying he was unsure about me, I ended it with him.
We did not have contact for 3 months. He then contacts me and says he misses me, and wants to try again. We meet up and talks about it, and I ask him if he is sure about me, and really likes me, and he says yes. So we continue from where we left. Then a month goes by and I find out he is on tinder, and getting matches. I confront him about it and confront him about the status of our relation, and he says that he will be happy to delete his tinder and invest more in the realtionsship, but he is a bit unsure about me and not ready to be official.
I then end it with him, says that he should please let me move on and deletes him on Facebook. It has now been two weeks with no contact… Will the no contact work, and make him want to be official? And how long would I do no contact for? I have been seeing a guy for a year and half now. But he will then come back and then go distant again and messes with my head. Hello I need help. My boyfriend and I got into a fight because he wanted me to move in with him but because of many reasons I just cant.
I told him I needed time, he said he can no lo get wait he needs a full time girlfriend. I asked if we could meet in person which he agree so I went over to his house and asked why, he said he thought about it and althought he loves me he is not in love with me therefore he cant be with me he had been holding this feeling for a long time but wasnt sure and thinking about it made him realize what he wanted. I said how is that possible and he said he realized he was not in love anymore.
I stupidly try to seduce him and he said not to because it will only hurt me and make him feel bad, we ended up showering together and we were kind of playful, there was no sex involve but he kept saying he stood by his decision. Later we went to eat and he would hold my hand. After that night I asked him again to think about his decision and he said he originally had thought of it because I was the one who told him to think about it.
But that he will think. The day after nov23 he said he wanted to be alone and he didnt wanted to see me at all around his house.
At night I went to his house to look for him because he had completely ignore my calls and text when he got to his house he saw my car there and drove off because and I notice he had invited coworkers girls from work he never mentioned and a guy over to his apartment.
I waited toll he came back again and I was hiding and he drove around making sure I wasnt there. Which i was but he didnt notice so everyone went down to his apartment I was creeping on him and they were drinking and playing board games.
I didnt reply to his text at all, I decided to go to his job and he was on his break when he saw me he look nervous, he thought I was going to go crazy on him I just said what happend and I asked about last night he said he had fun with his friends and he truly wanted to be alone as in for me to not look for him at all he wants to just go to work, hang out with his friends and that about it, he said me calling him and looking for him stressed him out.
I apologize and he said he still stands by his choice I asked him for a favor and I said if we could be friends he said maybe not right now. Which I agree and I hugged him and he hugged me back then I lean for a kiss and he try to move away but eventually ended up kissing me for a bit. As i was driving off i looked at him and i sent him a kiss and he sent one back.
I understand what i did to go look for him was a big mistake. I just wonder if I still have a chance of getting him back. And his behavior. This just happens yesterday dec Also she will fck up again so the relationship is doomed. My Advice: Get in great shape during the 60 days. Meet her again and then…. This was both of our first real long term relationships. We had a great connection, always laughing and communicating with each other on a daily basis.
We had a lot of the same interests and never really argued, a few niggles here and there but nothing major. We had plans of moving in together in the future. My ex stuck with me through that, making the effort to make me happy everyday and I appreciate him for that.
I know this event changed me in a way where I would lash out at him over the slightest things, not at the start of the relationship but more so up until a year ago I would let the little things bother me. I see that now. Two weeks to the day is when we split. He also said he has been thinking about this for 2 — 3 months.
Get in great shape. Give yourself 60 days. Train every day. Eat perfect. Then meet again. Now YOU will be in control. You can do better than this guy and now you will have the confidence to do so. Did you marry the ex that you broke up with temporarily to get back with your toxic significant other??? Very serious question. Hi Sabrina. I met a man online about a year and a half ago. I was a bit too persistent and continued to text him periodically.
We now live in the same town and We did finally run into each other and met at a music event. We started spending time together and sex was immediate.
We hit it off fast and furious and had a great time together. I am 54, he is I realized for the first time in my life I had become a placeholder. He wanted to date someone else.
I was just filling a void in between women he wanted to date. Our interests, our values, everything is easy and aligned and he wants me in his life as a friend. I told him I would not be a placeholder. I was not confident in myself and it definitely came across in my pursuit of him. We stay in contact but I have been weaning myself off of texting him.
I am curious if I should try to remain good friends with him and let myself heal, if I should go into no-contact, or how to approach this. I have gone on a few dates…all of which have been horrible which only makes me miss him more. Last night I was out at an event with friends and he was there with his date.
He was keeping his distance but not ignoring me. I broke up with my boyfriend of one year about 3 weeks ago and started doing NC right away.
We left with no fights, no hard feelings, love each other and want the best for each other, etc. He was content to just talk on the phone for months—our conversations are always amazing but they ended up just being heartbreaking for me because he never made time to actually go out with me. Anyway, my mom who is 30 years older than us, but still beautiful in her 60s also goes to our church.
For the last 2 weeks, he and she have both gotten there before me and he approaches her and flirts with her! Tells her she looks beautiful, carries on a conversation, etc. He does have a habit of flirting with older ladies, which never bothered me before.
But my mom?! Why does he think throwing his charms at my MOM is appropriate? Should I make an exception and ask him to leave her alone, or just ignore his ridiculousness?
Therefore, if I wanted any of my exes back I knew I could immediately have them with me again. Though nothing is one-hundred percent effective, this post explains why the no contact rule works on men and it works very well. To get my help with your specific situation and a tailored map to getting your ex back, Schedule A Coaching Call With Me or get more information on my Emergency Breakup Kit.
July 23, September 17, June 29, September 17, May 21, September 17, Coach Lee helps people get their ex back after a breakup.
He developed The Emergency Breakup Kit , a powerful guide to winning back an ex. Skip to content. Related Posts. About Coach Lee Coach Lee helps people get their ex back after a breakup. One sec before you go! Articles on dating relationships, getting an ex back after a break up, and content to help you experience the best in your relationships. See our Terms of Use.
Right now we are going to be looking at something far more valuable. Something I like to call the aftertaste effect! When I began writing Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO I had a list that I put together designed to detail all of the best strategies that I found that worked to get an ex back so that I could put it in the book.
Whenever you eat a candy you are left with a certain aftertaste. It is that aftertaste that compels you to come back and keep eating that candy. For some reason every time I eat one I end up eating two or three more. Of course, candy is not good for you. Everyone knows that at a basic level and yet it is the aftertaste that compels us all to keep eating them.
One thing I can tell you for sure is that YOU were left with a good aftertaste. I mean, here you are reading this far down the page because you are hungry for another relationship with your ex. I will stop with the puns.
But I really want you to think hard and try to put yourself in your exes shoes. What kind of taste do you think he was left with? Good or bad, whatever his aftertaste is will cause him to react a certain way to the no contact rule. The second is actually through our private Facebook Group that we have for women going through breakups.
However, if I require them to read PRO first then they tend to do a lot better in the group. In this section I am going to outline each of the ways and give an in-depth explanation for what is going on in his head during the reaction.
Now, while you are reading about each reaction I want you to keep in mind that I will be referencing the aftertaste effect a lot. So, make sure you have a grasp of it before you read on. You and I are going to play roles in each of these seven reactions. You are going to play my ex girlfriend who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me. Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. Lets get started! This is an amusing reaction from a man.
I remember when I first created this site I really thought that women who implemented the no contact rule would see this particular reaction from men but the truth is that not as many men have this reaction as I thought.
He will eventually get the hint and stop calling. However, deep in his mind he will always want to hear from you. You would use the no contact rule on me. Now, lets hit the pause button and talk about this. Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message. I am going to care about getting a response. This agitation is going to lead to me sending more messages down the road or possibly calling you out on why you are not responding to me with a message like this:.
At this point you are going to be tempted to respond to me. In a way, I am testing you to see if you will engage with me. Basically, the more you ignore me the more likely I am to show you attention.
However, the more you send attention my way the less likely I am to give you that attention back. Usually, after a certain amount of texts are un-responded to I will start calling you frantically. Of course, since you are in a strict NC rule you will be ignoring all of my calls. While it may take a while I will finally get the hint and stop calling which will lead me to ignore you completely.
What is going on in my head during this time? Firstly, lets look at the facts. My actions here, once NC was done by you was to spam you with text messages and phone calls. That fact alone means that I still have interest in you, that I still care about you. Deep down I am just insecure about being alone and I want to hear from you badly. I have actually experienced this phenomenon myself before. I like to call this the fake reality phenomenon. I am the type of guy that can sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve.
It can be my biggest advantage but also my biggest downfall. During my first breakup it was definitely my biggest downfall. This particular breakup stands out in my mind because of how nasty it was. In fact, I remember the very first day of the breakup I convinced myself that life was better and for a while it was. I had this feeling of being free but eventually the breakup caught up with me and I had to create this fake reality for myself where I did my best to put on this facade that I was great when deep down all I wanted was to talk to my ex.
This is essentially what the fake reality phenomenon is. This reaction is very similar to the one above. Before I really dive in here let me give you a brief explanation of what this actually is. A perfect example of this is one of my clients who actually did get her ex back and was kind enough to come onto my podcast and do a podcast episode detailing her experience with no contact starting at ,.
This can be a pretty depressing reaction to get. Just like before, you are going to implement the no contact rule on me and just like before I am going to become a text gnat by sending you a lot of different text messages and phone calls. Here is where the main difference will come into play, instead of me ignoring you but wanting to hear from you I am going to be ignoring you out of anger. Above I talked about how the more I care about a person emotionally the more I care about a text message response.
This is an important nugget of knowledge to grasp for this reaction because it really goes down to the core of why an ex may potentially ignore you out of spite. Look, no one likes to be flat out ignored. That fact alone is why the no contact rule is such an effective method. These are the types of men that will take you ignoring them very personally. Again though, lets really look at the facts. Anyone who frantically calls you definitely has an interest in you or at least wants to know what you think.
So, while they may take your ignoring personally you have to wonder if deep down beyond that anger they still really want to hear from you. I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to look at it like this: men who take being ignored personally will want to get back at you. Unfortunately, it is a common problem. But how does that problem manifest itself in no contact? The Stubborn Guy- This is a reaction that a certain man will have during the no contact period.
It is your greatest fear after all, having an ex NOT contact you at all during a no contact period. I want to explore this so you can truly understand what your ex is thinking. First though, lets get our two favorite actors to act this scenario out ;. As always, you are going to initiate the no contact rule. However, this time I am not going to contact you. In other words, what we have here is a no contact rule stand off. Obviously, this is not what you want to have happen but the fact of the matter is that some men will react this way to the no contact rule.
There are a complex range of emotions that go on here so I am going to be dividing this overall category into multiple sections. First, I would like to start with one of our favorite terms, the aftertaste effect. Why am I going into this? It just means you have to know how to deal with them. Lets turn our attention back to the aftertaste effect. Me having that thought about you is probably your greatest fear when it comes to getting me back. Of course, the thing YOU have to remember is that it is possible to change my mind.
This is where your discipline comes in with the no contact rule. I would say that I can be a stubborn person when it comes to breakups. How do I know this? Well, because I lived it! I think stubborn men as a whole adopt two specific mindsets when they are put in the no contact rule. I want to use this section to describe the first mindset. There is a certain allure to being the victim. I mean, think about it. You get sympathy from everyone if you are a victim.
This is especially true when it comes to relationships. When I read the comments and inquiries I get from readers every day I feel bad for some of the women I communicate with.
ME feeling bad for you usually means that I am on your side! Stubborn men during no contact want to be adored by their exes. This is really NOT what they want. Every time I talk to a woman that I am dating or a woman I am interested in I look at every single interaction as a power struggle.
This is especially true when it comes to who texts who first and who calls who first. Anyways, having an ex call you first, if you are a stubborn guy, is like winning a game. That is because the clueless guy reaction is rare. So, what is a clueless guy reaction? The Clueless Guy- A legitimate reaction where your ex is entirely clueless throughout the no contact rule. I understand that you may be a little confused at how this reaction will play out in real life. So, as always, lets let our two professional actors act this situation out ;.
You are going to start the no contact rule on me. Of course, I am clueless about the whole situation so I may contact you or I may not. It will depend on a number of factors. Part of the reason the no contact rule works so well is the fact that the party it is being done to will sense that something is wrong. This feeling that they get will create a range of emotions and eventually sometimes subconsciously show them how much their ex significant other really means to them. Before we can answer that we need to study the psychology behind someone with a clueless reaction.
You see, one thing I have learned about women throughout my life is they tend to drop these little hints when you talk to them. These hints are a way of testing you to see where you stand on a certain issue. How you react to the hint will dictate how they approach the situation in the future. A clueless guy is the type of guy who will not pick up any hints at all.
He is too clueless or wrapped up in his own world to. For example, during the NC period a clueless guy will not sense that anything is wrong at all.
Here is where things get interesting though. He may actually contact you during the no contact period but at the same time he may NOT contact you. So, there are aspects of being frantic and stubborn in there but as a whole he will not get any of the hints you drop. He will just assume everything is ok.
Again, I would like to reiterate that this type of guy is very rare. A few sections ago I asked a simple question. The biggest misconception is that the no contact rule is only for your ex boyfriend. In fact, I would say that, that is only half the battle. Ok, getting an ex boyfriend back requires an interesting balance. You have to be hyper aware of your emotions. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional.
0コメント